Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
