its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
