they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
