Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
