Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
