The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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