He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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