in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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