Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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