I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
