he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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