Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
