I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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