READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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