Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
