I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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