If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
