My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize