He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
