found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
