Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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