You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
