Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Michael Bay diarrhea
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
