everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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