We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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