um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
