If that was your dad, he is hot
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
