fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
