Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
