If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
More tranny stories later!
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My balls are so social today.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
