So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
