i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
