the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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