i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
