My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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