The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
