I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
