is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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