No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
