Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Even my vagina gasped.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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