sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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