farters have to be the big spoon...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
