i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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