Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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