During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize