They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Boobs speak an international language.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
