There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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