Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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