biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
