there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I need water and some morals
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
