Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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