I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
