We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
