his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
