The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
