Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
