4 words: hood of his car
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize