TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
