Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
