i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
