That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize