Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
