You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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