you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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