Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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