She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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